28 Years of Reflection

So as I celebrate this, my 28th birthday, I have a few thoughts in mind.

Everyone keeps telling me to slow down, relax, take time for myself.
I always thought that I was invincible. I'm tough, I can handle anything....God never gives you more than you can handle. It's funny, though, that he also gives us signs when we're taking on too much. My only questions is....why does he keep giving it if it's too much? How do I know what to take on and what to leave behind.

Building on that, while I still don't know the answer to how do I know what to take on...I definitely know that he sends the signs of taking on too much based on recent events in my life.

For 28 years, I've strived to put everyone else first. From friends to family, even my spouse. The one thing I know now more than ever is that while it's nice to do that on occassion, I have to remember that I need to concentrate on my own needs (even if I don't want to focus on the wants). Maybe it comes from never wanting to disappoint anyone....(probably because of how much my dad disappointed me)...I'm not sure. All I know is that this next year...leading up to 29...I'm going to work on me a little more.

This past year, I've learned that some people make big mistakes. Mistakes SO big that you thought you were living in a movie.....and until you're faced with them, you don't know how you will handle them. Through it all, I've learned how to forgive (and I'm working on my own version of forget) and love bigger, deeper, and wider than ever before. And it is true...the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

Over the past two years, but the last year in general, I've grown close to some friends that mean the world to me. You know who you are...but let me just say that I'm so thankful that you're in my life. Some of you have been to hell and back with me...while others are tolerating me on family vacations....but just the same, without you, I'd feel lost. I love you dearly.

My mom and I have grown to be deeper, closer friends. That means so much to me. I'm so grateful that I have the ability to form such a good relationship with her now....I love you, mom!

I've been told I deserve the Mother of the Year award. I'm flattered by that....but I'd like to think that any mother faced with the choices, decisions, and trials I've been faced with would do the same things I've done. I love my children more than anything....I'd die for them....I'd circle the moon and back just to hear them say I love you....just like any other mother would.

I've been married for 7 years--7 years!! Most marriages aren't lasting 7 months.....and I've surpassed it in years. Don't get me wrong....it's been tough--REAL tough. But in the end, I wouldn't be the person I am today....or the mother I am today....if it weren't for Josh. I owe him much gratitude. So here's to you, babe!

If nothing else, I think I've learned more in this past year than I've learned in my entire 28 years on this earth (okay, well, that might be stretching it a bit). But, really, I've learned to value so much more than wealth, or things. Before now, I thought it were important the kind of car I drive, the house I live in, and money I have. Now, I've realized that what's important is the "company" I keep in the car and house....and what's important is that I spend my money wisely.

I'm SO grateful that God's placed me on this Earth to fulfill a vision he has. Up until now, I don't think I was willing to live my life the way He wanted me to. But as I grow another year older...and closer to eh-em 20?....I realize that it's more important that I live for His vision and not what I personally seek. I realize that my family has to come first...above all else. And while it's taken me a while....thank you, God, for hitting me up side the head.....or should I say the base of my brain stem? (inside joke)