Senseless Rambling

So, who's up for some good old-fashioned senseless rambling? Everyone always says the older, the wiser....so that means that today, I'm older than yesterday, which means I should be smarter than yesterday, right? Let's see...5 things I've learned so far this year:

1. I have to have control, or I lose control. Keeping my balance is hard when I lose control of something I feel I should have control over. Someone calling in sick on a project that needs finishing sends my day into a spiral, quickly. I can control the project finishing, but not the person calling in sick...but I don't have the time to control the project, so I focus on trying to control the people...ugh, what a nasty rut! These are the days that the good 'ol days of language seem to rear themselves (F* this and F* that, I don't give a F*--you get the idea). I'm putting more of an effort forward to concentrate on improving in my control area. I'm a perfectionist, it's my nature, so I'll always need control, but I'm working on it, I promise (quit laughing Katie).
   
2. Shopping patterns change with age and income. I used to love shopping for clothes, then shoes, then baby clothes, next came furniture, back to shoes, and finally...anything expensive. I'll admit it....I'm a shopping addict. I have a lot of space in my house...and it's getting tough to find real estate. I'm trying to focus back in on the fact that just because I make more money, doesn't mean I have to spend it. I need a shopaholic therapist.
   
3. Never give up hope on your childhood love. Oh....this isn't about Josh (although maybe it should be in light of recent weeks-LOL). It's about New Kids on the Block. I saw them in concert as a kid (actually, it was my very first concert). Now, the opportunity to see them again is presenting itself....Josh says they should be the "Old Kids on the Block" now, but there's a part of me that wishes to go back in time....
4. Doctors are human beings (who I believe drink or get high on the weekends) and despite their best intentions, they never seem to have the answers. Nickolas has been poked, prodded, tested, looked into, examined, scanned, scoped, biopsied, and drawn. Specialists from head to toe have thought of a variety of cats and dogs that might be the problem (don't ask it's a dumb analogy they apparently teach in the first year of med school). The consensus? "We don't think he has CSID. We think he's had severe food allergies." Up until that statement, If I had a cure for every time someone mentioned the "Mystery Diagnosis" show or for each time someone would say to call Dr. House, well, we wouldn't need any of it. :) The lesson here? To let go of the need for control, the desire to fix things and just see where the ride takes us. I know, it's a biggie for me, see number 1.
   
5. I've realized the value of true friendships, family, love, connection, laughter....the ONLY things they don't sell at the mall. I don't have the words to express how much the people in my life mean to me. I can only say you give my life meaning, my glass lemonade (since I don't drink), my voice ears, my life happiness.
   I'm committing myself to spend most of my time focused on what matters to me and I am fully aware of what a luxury that is. I have a feeling this next year is going to be a revolutionary one in the my house.......so stay tuned.....