The Past 4 Weeks....

The past four weeks have been really hectic, and well, tough around here. We're trying to adjust to a life without Grammy....and settle back into routines since everyone's been so sick. I took a half-day last Thursday and a vacation day on Friday to enjoy some much needed "me" time. OMGosh I had so much fun! I haven't been able to say that for a really long time....and I really did feel so refreshed when I went back to work on Monday, almost like a new me! I also made some promises to myself going back....that I would no longer take on more than I can handle.....at work or at home. I'm not going to be afraid of the word no....and I will do what makes me happy. SO, I've been doing really well with that....and today, well, it was a day full of grown-up decisions!

I first decided to get rid of Nickolas' vest. It was going to cost us near $12000 out of pocket (or $200 a month for the next 5 years) and he gives us such a fight to do it that I decided it wasn't worth that kind of money! So, I called the company and they're going to come pick it up. I'm still responsible for $2900, but I guess that's better than $12000....I just wish I would have called sooner!

I also decided today to reconnect with someone I'm very close to. We both made decisions we're not really proud of and well, it was all so stupid (no, it's not Josh :) ). It's time that I grow up and quit worrying what other people think of me and who I choose to associate with...it's my life and I just want to be happy! And you know what, I've had a smile on my face since about 4 o'clock today! It feels so good to have this special someone back in my life!

Then, there's bad news. Alissa's been diagnosed with Selective Antibody Deficiency. It's been a whirlwind of a diagnosis...and well, I don't know much other than in 3-4 weeks we're having more bloodwork than I probably care to "pay" for and we'll have a treatment plan. Her Lymphocyte level has been at zero for quite some time and she's not building antibodies to important things, like tetanus and pneumonia...among other things. It's almost like she never got her vaccinations...and also why she's probably getting the flu, even after the flu shot. Our Immunologist told me it's genetic....so the fact that I continue to get the flu (and Nickolas, too)....is probably a sign that we're all suffering....so I imagine when we go in with Nickolas at the end of the month, she'll look a little closer into his bloodwork, too.

She did tell me today she has a crush on Jeremy. She didn't have a crush on him until he had one on her, but she does now. Then she told me she used to crush on Horiam, but not any more. She's so stinkin' cute!

Nickolas starts his therapy tomorrow and I'm nervous and excited...all at the same time. The doctor's have told us they're not sure if Nickolas will be able to "handle" the therapy and might require medication to get through it...and that makes me nervous. I've also been prepared that it's going to get much worse before it gets any better...and well, that terrifies me, too! It's so hard to explain to someone who doesn't live with a child like this day in and day out what it's like......it's nothing compared to normal 4 year olds, but it's SO hard to explain. Sure, he has good days, but when he has bad days, they're really bad. We've started him on something to help bring him down at night and fall asleep...and so far, it's not working. I'm hopeful that we'll find something that helps him (and me) find sleep, soon! I seriously could count on one hand the number of nights he's slept through the night in the past 4 years and 23 days.

I went through his closet the other day and weeded out everything but Mario (pretty much). He won't wear anything else, so why clutter his closet?! So, I cleaned it! I also cleaned Alissa's and now she's asking about things she hasn't looked for in over a year, I swear she has ESP. :)

Other than that, we're moving along....OH, I forgot to mention, we're re-doing my bathroom! This makes me SO excited! I love the countertop and the color we painted (it's purple!!)....and I'm looking forward to finishing it soon and hopefully laying some tile! We've also looked into a new product that is available for re-doing cabinets and we're going to start with the kitchen! It's very reasonable-priced, too!

I heard this song today and I fell in love.....here's the lyrics as I close....

We pray for blessings, We pray for peace
Comfort for family, Protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, For prosperity
We pray for your mighty hand to ease all suffering

And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if your blessings come thru raindrops
What if your healing comes tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel you near
And we doubt your goodness, We doubt your love
As if each promise from your Word is not enough

And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we’d have faith to believe

Cause what if your blessings come thru raindrops
What if your healing comes tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies disguise?

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win, we know
That pain reminds this hearts,
That this is not, this is not our home…..

Cause what if your blessings come thru raindrops
What if your healing comes tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

What if my greatest disappointments,
What if the aching of this life,
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy.
What if trials of this life,
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise?